Monday, May 22, 2017

Our Adoption Story: In a Nut Shell

Why did we want to adopt when our kids are 21, 17 and 15?  I could say, because we are not even 40 yet and have plenty of time to raise more kids or that we are financially stable enough to support more kids and that our marriage is solid.  These are all true but we wanted to adopt to expand the kingdom of God in our own home.  We were adopted into God's family by the death and resurrection of Christ and wanted to adopt here on earth as a picture of that. 

How did we come to this decision? Several years ago, the Lord placed it on my heart as we were getting ready to send our oldest child out into the big world of college life.  I kept this to myself for several months before bringing it up to my husband.  He liked the idea and so we started praying on it more seriously.  The summer after our oldest moved out, we started taking classes at the Child Services Dept. in hopes of adopting from foster care.  After months of classes and some things going on at home we decided to take a break from the thought and almost put it completely out of our heads when we were told that there was another mandatory class we needed to take.  We thought that we might as well to keep our application current in case we were going ahead.  This was a trauma class and facing the reality of what it would mean to adopt traumatized children.  After this class, we didn’t speak all the way home and when we finally did talk we decided that it wasn’t the route for us with the two boys still at home.  I turned to my husband and said, “Can I have a baby?”.  He looked at me and said, “Yes”. 

That’s when we began the hunt for an adoption agency to adopt a newborn baby.  Choosing the agency was the hardest part but I finally made a choice and we sent in our application late last June.  We were put on a waiting list and figured we would be waiting a long time.  Everything from there was led by God, we were able to get in to a training session when we hadn’t even made it off the waiting list in November.  Our paperwork was done and turned in in January and once that was all looked through and approved it was time for the home study.  The Home study was scheduled within days of our paperwork being approved and the home study was approved March 23rd.  The home study got to me March 30th.  In the meantime, I had designed a profile book to send to birth mothers so they could see who wanted to adopt their baby.  Now days’ adoption is almost always open and the birth parents choose who will adopt their baby.  Our book was sent out the same week our home study was finished to Texas and according to what I was told, the book got there Saturday, she looked at the book Saturday and chose us Saturday.  Our adoption worker was floored.  She had only had someone chosen that fast one other time in her career and thought we would be waiting a long time due to our age and the ages of our kids.  The kicker was, she was due in 2-3 weeks.

We went ahead and said we were interested in this baby and to let the birth mom know.  They told us not to get too excited yet because in Texas she can’t sign her relinquishment papers until the baby is 48 hours old.  So now we wait.  Well, we don’t wait well so we hustled around here trying to get all our things in order, work, bills, school, kids and dog.  We worked day and night until we got the call that she had the baby.  Still, we were told not to get too excited until the papers were signed.  Friday afternoon they called and said, “She signed the papers, book your flight to Texas.”  So, we did.  We flew out Easter Sunday so that we could be there first thing Monday morning to pick up our son. 

Monday morning came and we made it to the adoption agency where we went over paperwork and signatures.  The adoption worker called the foster parent who had our son and told her to bring him to us.  She arrived shortly after and placed him in my arms.  We waited around for some more paperwork and were told we could leave.  We promptly left and went back to our hotel room and just stared at him with giant smiles.  I looked at my husband and said,” It didn’t feel any different when she put him in my arms as when a doctor placed my other children in my arms.” He felt the same.
We were told that the birth mother wanted to meet us so later that week we went back to the adoption agency to meet her.  I asked her if she wanted to hold him and she accepted.  I remember thinking that it should feel strange for me to have her holding him but we had had him for 4 days by then and it was just a lady holding our son.  She was very pleasant and we were able to get a little information for him for the future and it was all in all a valuable experience.  I email her now and then with updates and photos and she emails me back.

We got home and things have been great.  We have had immense support from tons of family and friends and he will grow up knowing that he is loved by so many, including his birth mom. 

We are open to talking about our adoption so please ask us anything you would like to know.